Hot Tips

Dating in the Age of Divorce

With the divorce rate in America constantly being reported between 30 to 60 percent, chances are that the majority of the people one meets on the dating scene is a divorcee.  Does ‘divorced’ matter?  Does it matter if he/she has been divorce three or four times? It is impossible (and unfair) to group all divorcees into one category; whether it is commitment-phobic, unfaithful, or narcissistic.  But one has to wonder: why did the divorce happen?  If you are dating a divorcee and want a committed relationship, there are some warning signs to look for to make sure you aren’t just another stop on the divorce dating highway.

An article titled “Dating in an age of multiple divorces,” published in the Chicago Tribune, discusses this matter of how to date in the world of divorcees.  In the article, psychologist Holly Parker discusses some warning signs to be aware of in a relationship:

  • The person seems distant or removed when you’re spending time together or talking, e.g., not emotionally expressive or hard to connect with on an emotional level.
  • You find that she blames every ex and takes no responsibility for the relationship having problems or for selecting a partner who doesn’t fit her.
  • The person you’re dating doesn’t share how he feels about you. This doesn’t need to be deep or signify serious commitment, but you need to know where you stand, especially if you’ve been dating a while.
  • Your date seems self-centered and much more interested in himself and his own needs than you in your needs. If you see these tendencies now, they are likely to continue.
  • You suspect the person has serious emotional issues that make smooth interactions nearly impossible to achieve.

 

Wouldn’t you want to know where your relationship is going?  Do you want to be another ex – another stop on the divorce highway?  Make sure you know who you are getting involved with.  Have a professional run a background check.  Make sure there aren’t problems and patterns that you are going to get dragged into. (Abuse, restraining orders, lack of payment of child support or alimony, felony arrests, etc).